There are many things that you can say about GI Joe. If you saw it that is.

I can tell you this much. I have not had this fun at the movies since perhaps Iron Man last year. You see, it is no cinematic masterpiece, nor was it my favorite movie of the summer (ahem, Hangover, ahem). My expectations for this movie was SOOO low that it no matter how bad it was, I would think that it would be good.

Well I was in for a surprise.

Not only was this movie kickass, leaving the movie theater I wanted to go home and dig out my old action figures and recreate the Snake Eyes/Storm Shadow battle. Hell, even Marlon Wayans was funny.

Overblown special effects-CHECK

Convoluted storyline filled with plot holes but still so predictable that my 10 year old nephew could figure out- CHECK

Making me relive my childhood with every sound effect that was consistent with the cartoon- CHECK

GO SEE THIS MOVIE!!!! You will not be disappointed. It has restored my faith in the moies for Summer 2009.

YO JOE!!!!!

In the last few weeks I have been (un)fortunate to get a glimpse into humaity’s future a la movies such as Knowing and The Day The Earth Stood Still . . .
Um. BORING!!!!!!
I mean how many times can we be treated to the end of the world. Not since the mid -90’s has the trend become more popular. I mean, back then, Deep Impact, Amargeddon and Independence Day tackled the subject, but at least they were entertaining.
Now we have people like Nicolas Cage, Denzel Washington, John Cusack and their supporting cast trying to escape(or in Denzel’s case) cope with a post-apocalyptic way of living.
Don’t these guys get it? They cannot outrun it. ANd we are forced to endure their wasted plans.
I know I am a superhero buff, but wouldn’t it be cool if we see a superhero exist in a post-apocalyptic world? I mean maybe Roland Emmerich can tackle the new Superman movie. Or maybe not . .. I saw 10,000 BC. . . .
At least we get to see major US cities get destroyed in many different ways . . . Don’t know if that is a good thing.

So wrong in so many ways.
So funny in every way.
Go see The Hangover.

Perfect movie group of guys combo: pompous a-hole, trapped nice guy, genuine nice guy, and complete weirdo – who are all OK guys deep down of course.

Some of our favorite quotes from the movie:
IN THE FACE!
Not you fat Jesus!
Did you just eat sofa pizza?
Not at the table Carlos
And my wolfpack…it grew by one.

Early word on the street is that GI Joe is “more fun” than Transformers. I grew up with the toys, the comics, the videos etc etc etc.
The first Transformers was fun. The second one SUCKED. See above.
Summer movie season is almost over and the only viable movie that felt like summer blovkbuster was Star Trek and even so it wasnt even officially summer weather season yet.
Stephen Sommers movies are a mixed bag. The first two Mummy movies were fun, Van Helsing SUCKED. Men In Black was good. Mien In Black II, NOT SO MUCH!!!!!!
We shall see how GI Joe plays out. Let’s hope it doesn’t suck. I mean Marlon Wayans is in it so it can’t be that bad right?

When I was a kid and a blockbuster movie was relased, it was an automatic assumption to prepare for the sequel. Batman, Superman, Indiana Jones, Star Trek etc, etc etc. Some of the times the movies provided a worthy sequel, (Rocky IV anyone?), but sometimes the sequels were overblown pieces of crap with more style over substance (Batman Forever et al).

In saying this, the trend has seemed to have gotten better as directors and writers have started yielded worthy sequels. Harry Potter, Spider-Man 2, X-Men 2, Rocky Balboa, Rambo, and of course the most definitive sequel ever made, The Dark Knight. Of course there are some duds that are still out there (Crystal Skull).

Having said all of this, Mr. Bay, you NUKED THE FRIDGE, big time.

Even though the first Transformers was pretty bloated, with one special effects shot after the other, we still cared about the characters. You were able to delicately balance the humans’ stories with the robots’ stories.

Not in this one.

If something wasn’t exploding, there was robot carnage or horrible lines being delivered by everyone on screen. Was it really necessary to have numerous comedic elements that were so blatant. Where was the baddass-ness of the original? The fun? Do I really need to hear an autobot say that they are going to kick some “ass”?

When Transformers: Return of the Decepticons Who Really Did Not Die In The First Place opens, it should be interesting to see if it will be as successful financially as this one.

This is not going to fare well for GI Joe(although I don’t think this had a chance from the beginning).

It can’t be true. I’ve heard them mention “the bubble.” I’ve seen the words “series finale.” BUT I DON’T BELIEVE IT. CHUCK is the ONLY show on TV that I actually looked forward to each week. I never miss it. I never DVR it and wait a week to watch it like I do with everything else. Everyone I talk to LOVES this show. I refuse to believe that it’s not coming back. I refuse to believe that they’re not going to give it at least one more chance.

Instead, I’ll get to see stinking Jay Leno on my TV five days a week? BOOOOO. And Heroes and Howie Do It are coming back. REALLY? You have GOT to be KIDDING me. Heroes is in the TOILET. And Howie Do It? REALLY. REALLY? and Parks and Recreation? I love Amy Poehler, but I have yet to laugh at this show. BOOOO NBC. BOOOOO. CHUCK fans. I know you’re out there. I seriously can’t be the ONLY one who is so sad to see this show go. Am I?

In my most recent post, I commented on the rumors that will undoubtedly surround and lead up to the production of the inevitable The Dark Knight sequel. Well, as it may be I did not intend to start hearing about Superman rumors. You know, the ones like Mark Millar being given an opportunity to pitch his idea to WB or McG saying that he will be willing to revisit the JJ Abrams script almost brought to fruition 7 years ago(CIA Lex Luthor? No thanks).

Well it seems that a tested source from the guys over at Aint It Cool News, has heard from a tv interview that the Wachowski Brothers are tapped to handle a brand new, re-booted Superman trilogy. Um, ok. Speed Race sucked, so did the last two Matrix movies, but the thought of WB doing Superman well over at WB seems like a natural marraige. We already know that they can direct the hell out of a fight scene. We are going to have to keep an eye on that one. Please, please, please DO NOT NUKE THE FRIDGE!!!!!!

Also, I just caught the teaser for Inglorious Basterds. QT+Brad Pitt asking for Nazi scalps against a WWII setting= ONE BADASS MOVIE. August 21, 2009.

-Verisimilitude

We have not been here in a loooong time. Um, SOrry. But here are some things that I want to get off my chest beore I resume my sweet movie geek talks:
Friday the 13th: This looks every bit as good/bad as the recent TCM remake. Lets hope that it is.
GI JOE: For those complaining that the trailer looks cheesy, go rent all of the older cartoons and try sitting through them. ‘Nuff Said. It is going to kick ass.
Transformers ROTF: Looks exactly like the first except with bigger as robots AKA Devastator. Michael Bay was born to make these movies. It too will kick ass.
Star Trek: Um, Kirk et al looked that they just stepped out of a A&F catalog. Having said that I have no problem with it and I hope it is as good as it looks. Besides, Shaun from Shaun of the Dead is in it.
Watchmen: Nothing to be said, I wish March 6th were tomorrow.
TDK Sequel rumors: Bring on a replacement Joker. THERE, I said it. You may not agree, but there is so much to tell between the relationship that is Batman and the Clown Prince of Crime.
Everything Else: Terminator Salvation, Fast and Furious 4, Wolverine, Harry Potter, Inglorious Basterds . . . BRING IT!!!!
To be continued . . ..

So I’m watching the NFL playoff games over the weekend (Go Eagles!) and every other commerical was for an upcoming horror flick.
What the…?!
Is February the new October? Last I checked, February belonged to the Presidents and Saint Valentine. Then it clicked…valentine’s day.  Apparently, horror is the new love potion! Who knew?   I’m assuming Hallmark hasn’t caught on, otherwise there would be some type of horror film audio greeting cards designed to scare you right into the arms of your hottie!
So listen up guys and gals.
Should you choose to visit the cinema and terrify your date with greasy popcorn and a large chested woman screaming wildly while she runs up a flight of stairs when she should be going down…go ahead. But just remember, a scary movie might get you some cuddling, handholding or hugs, but the romance of movies like The Notebook and Casablanca and  will always, always  win!

Well it definitely has been a while. The whole Christmas thing really took up more time that I thought. Visiting family, cleaning the house, trying to catch up on movies that I had not seen, enjoying my new TV . . . you know the usual stuff.

As I tried to come up with my Top 10 for the year, I realized that there were more movies I was dissapointed in than movies I actually liked. If anyone is reading this, I would like to say that unlike other geek movie sites, my Top 10 is not pretentious. I enjoy movies for what they are, great forms of entertainment. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy films that have deeper meanings upon multiple viewings, however, I enjoy movies that provide me with an escape from this mad world of ours over moves that have me pontificate over the meanings of existence so that they can win awards. In any case, here is my Top 10 most enjoyable, entertaining move experiencesof the year:

10.   Kung Fu Panda- I am not a big Jack Black fan but if I were a ten year old thismovie could have easily been at the top of this list.

9.   Cloverfield- I am choosing the gimmick over the movie itself. Edge of my seat viewing experience and many Easter Eggs that made this one of my most enjoyable movie experiences.

8.    Forgetting Sarah Marshall- Russel Brandt is one of the funniest people this side of the world(or maybe he is on the other side). Putting him todther with some of the best Apatow B-guys in a movie together made this better than (GASP) Knocked Up for me.

7.   The Incredible Hulk- I am a movie geek. I lover Superhero movies. Any mocvies that combines the awesomeness of the old tv series with the superb acting of individuals like Edward Norton and Tim Roth is sweet in my book. However, something really needsto be done with the Hulk-look though. I do not think this has been perfected yet.

6.   Valkyrie- This is a late addition as I recently saw this. I can take or leave Tom Cruise. He was awesome in this movie. Great storytelling, epic settings and edge of your seat suspense= GREAT MOVIE.

5.   Quantum of Solace- Many people may disagree withme on this. As a standalone thism ovie was average as best. However, paired together as a direct extension of Casino Royale and this movie does not dissapoint.

4.   Rambo- A sleeper that many have forgotten about. Stallone at his best. Bring on The Expendables.

3.   Tropic Thunder- I do not like Ben Stiller that much. I do nt like Jack Black that much(said above). I do not like Tom Cruise that much(see above). The premise and Robert Downey, Jr. made this movie. Speaking of Downey-

2.   Iron Man- DOWNEY .  . . IS . . . IRON . . . MAN!!! ‘Nuff Said.

1.   The Dark Knight- Um, do i really need to say anything about this?

There you go. MY Top 10. No art movies, no documentaries. Does that mean I do not have good taste? NOPE! It just means that I like to be entertained. Look forward to my most dissapointing moves of 2008, movies I wished I would have seen in 2008 and what I look forward to most in 2009 (this would include tv).

Until next time, Verisimilitude!